I am by no means perfect. And sometimes… I feel inadequate… as a wife, mom, as a performer…
I have dealt with depression and anxiety for most of my life. That is not something I like to admit to people. There have been times where I feel better and happy. And there have also been times where I relapse. It can get bad. I want to tell you guys a story…
Being pregnant with sweet Gwen wasn’t easy. I was sick the whole time and had a couple scary hospital trips. There were times I thought living wasn’t worth it. But there’s more… Post-partum depression. It is so real, guys. When Gwen was born, I was VERY happy, and everything I had gone through was so worth it, but within the next couple weeks, everything felt bleak. I couldn’t find joy in anything I was passionate about, and I was sad about things I had lost. My body was different, I hadn’t been on stage for months, and I just didn’t feel like myself. The only thing that literally kept me alive was my love for my daughter and husband. That is so hard for me to admit.
Depression isn’t the only thing that can be so debilitating. Those of you who have had anxiety attacks know that you feel your brain is failing, and you feel a constant exhaustion. Your heart hurts and your fear extends to more than just the small things… Sometimes you feel as if you’re dying.
I am still struggling, but I got help. I feared that people would judge me if they knew what was going on, but I was so wrong. I needed and still need a support system! If any of you are struggling with anything similar, I am SO sorry! From the bottom of my heart, I feel for you! Please know that there is help out there.
All of this leads me to the point I want to make in this post. Whenever I am dealing with depression or having an anxiety attack, I go to my mother. She always says the same thing, “Take one day at a time.” She reminds me to remember that there’s an end to everything and that I should “remember the good.” Today, I am going to write about five things I am grateful for. 😀
- My husband
Aaron is my rock. Without him, I would fall apart. He reels me back in when I’m too worried or anxious, he never fails to comfort me when I need it, and he makes me feel beautiful. Almost every night, Aaron whispers to me, “Aleese?” I turn to him and answer, “Yes?” He looks at me with a sparkle in his eyes and says, “You’re amazing, and I love you very much.” ❤ ❤
Aaron is not only my best friend, but he is an angel. He is so selfless, and we always have fun together! I am a very lucky woman.
2. My baby girl
Oh, my goodness… my love for Gwendolyn grows every day! I can’t believe she’s my daughter! Her happiness is infectious and touches the hearts of everyone around her. When she was born, and I first held her against my chest… my heart swelled and tears sprung up into my eyes. I remember looking at Aaron and choking through my tears, “I love her.”
Gwen can sit up all by herself now and is getting SO close to crawling! My favorite thing is when she gives me her wet, slobbery kisses. ❤
This might sound silly to some, but becoming a Senegence distributor was one of the best things I could have ever done for myself! I found that I LOVE running my own business and helping women not only look but feel beautiful! I, myself have even developed a newfound self-confidence. Not just through makeup, but through a belief that I can accomplish what I put my mind to.
***Disclaimer: In all of these selfies, I am wearing Senegence products.
4. The show/performing
I am very blessed to have been married into the Hughes family. I can still do what I love while being a full-time mother. That’s right, little Gwendolyn is in two numbers of the show and waits backstage for me in-between my numbers.
Performing is my LIFE! I have been around music and theater ever since I can remember- both my parents are entertainers. My father has traveled around the world as a singer/dancer/actor, and I learned a lot from both him and my mother.
Besides being a wife and mother, I love performing more than anything! I even teach vocal and performance to kids every now and then.
*** Picture is of Aaron and me on stage when we were engaged.
5. The Gospel
I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormon). The Gospel has blessed me in more ways than I can explain. The Lord has been with me through every trial and has walked alongside me through all my joys. I don’t know who I’d be or where I’d be without my faith.
I challenge all of you to write down at least five things you are grateful for when you’re feeling down. I know it has helped me immensely.
Thank you for reading!